I'm Better at Comparing Than You Are.

I've been practicing for years. 

I've only been un-practicing (totally a real word) for about 8 months.  

In the past, when I compared myself to others, my innards looked a little something like:

• a kid that felt really small.
• a very sarcastic and negative person.
• someone that didn't like who they were.
• an entitled soul waiting to spout off on God about how much they'd been wronged.
• a selfish and resentful spirit wallowing in what wasn't or what might have been.

Just recently, my un-practicing (still totally a real word) has resulted in what I'll call "positive comparisons" - times where I've been able to see a faint outline of the path He has me on so that I can use comparison in healthy ways like: 

• getting motivated toward growth when I see folks that are farther down the path than me.
• seeking God's direction as I observe others that inspire me and that I respect.
• celebrating the successes of those that I hold dear.

In order to carry off this healthier form of comparison, we need to:

• try to love ourselves like He loves us (emphasis on try)
• care about others a little more than we care about ourselves
• get a buzz off of seeing others be successful (it's addicting, I promise)
• like a little bit of whimsy in our lives
• be patient
• respect our own journey

In short, the only time that I am not diminished when others succeed is when I trust that my Creator has me on a path that matters.  The longer I un-practice comparing, the more I realize that my story doesn't even have to be in the middle of a fulfilling chapter for it to work.  As long as my frame of mind is that He loves me and He knows what He's doing with me, I can celebrate someone else's success.  

I don't have a 3-step process to stop comparing in unhealthy ways.  If I did, steps 1 and 2 would be 'fail trying', and step 3 would be repeat the first two steps until you finally do it right every now and again.  Trial and error at its finest.  Nothing magical about it.  I still flub it up as often as I do it in a productive way.  

What I do have is a growing confidence in the fact that your story matters, that it can stand on its own, and that it doesn't have to be diminished by the successes of those around you. 


He didn't put you here to compare yourselves against His other kids.  He put you here to write your story with all of your heart, mind, spirit, and strength.  And He wants you to have that story.  Just like you want your kids to have their dreams come true.   


Let's do it together and root for each other every step of the way. 

If you've taken a few steps toward your story and have something to celebrate, let me know. 
First round's on me.  Cheers.   pba.