Redeeming the Negative Turn

Donald Miller’s Storyline process consists of a few basic parts:

1. Documenting your Back-story. (The big positive & negative events or “turns” you’ve been thru)
2. Redeeming Negative Turns. (What did you gain/what positive resulted from the hard stuff?)
3. Roles & Ambitions. (What roles do you play and what do you want to accomplish?)
4. Inciting Incidents. (How are you gonna make it happen?)
5. Conflict. (Expect it and embrace it. It’s the stuff of Good Story)
6. Climactic Scenes / MySubPlot.com. (What does the Story’s conclusion look like?)

I’m on Step 2.

In short, I have to find “the positives” within a divorce, multiple untimely moves during my K-12 years, pushing off my Faith for stuff that felt a lot more fun after college, multiple employers going under, and my wife and I both using entirely dysfunctional and destructive methods to manage our day-to-day fears.

I know that I’m still ticked about a lot of stuff, but I’m far enough away from most of it to actually find the silver linings that are there to be had: a positive perspective on a mother’s love, knowledge that my God is with me every step of the way, increased understanding of folks that have gone thru similar experiences, and a deep connection between husband & wife.

Without acknowledging these positives I will remain closed, selfish, and unable to forgive. And, without that forgiveness, I will be hard-pressed to know what love really looks like because I’ll continue spending my time protecting my innards from more pain.

I obviously have very little “figured out”, but I’m thankful to be on Step 2 and am proactively moving thru it to get to Step 3. 

And that’s the beauty of it. 

The process illustrates, by its very structure, that the past is somewhere to visit and acknowledge, but it’s not a place to live. Where are you livin’?

Perfect Timing

Day starts at 5am - started a new job yesterday and I'm excited to get there, get focused, and move thru the day.  It turns out to be a busy day spent cleaning up loose ends from my previous gig and trying to lend some mindshare to the mission/vision of my new role.  It flies by and quickly comes to a close.

Time to get out of the office to get to football with JB.  Got there by 5:30 and watched mini-man have a great practice, highlighted by a leaping tackle on 4th down to save a touchdown for his team.  I saw him grow at least an inch as his teammates yelled his name in support.  (You must understand that 12 months ago he would have avoided that same contact - so excited to see him grow)

Practice ends around 7:00 - gotta get home to grab a snack prior to getting over to church to kick-off a Storyline small group that I'm instigating/organizing.  Exciting stuff!  We get home, Jacob grabs a snack, excitedly shares his exploits with his mom, and heads to bed.  I have time to say "hi" and "wish me luck" to my smokin' hot wife, and I'm off to church (more than a little nervous about leading four gents thru a process I have yet to complete myself).

On the way to church it feels a little breezy in my oh-so-sexy '99 Regal.  'Hmmmm... looks like JB rolled down his window to cool off after practice.'  I push the button to close up the window, a few unfamiliar noises make themselves known, and the window doesn't budge...  "Crap!"  

I'm a little early for our 8 o'clock, so I pull over to see if I can at least force the window up by hand.  No such luck.  "Sunuva!  Why now!?"  Resigned to the fact that I'm not going to resolve the issue in the immediate term, I head to the kick-off - completely distracted and sarcastically thinking about how "perfect" the timing was - "JUST before I need to lead something that already feels like a stretch. For the love!" 

In hindsight, it really couldn't have been any more perfect.  

Part of my recent storyline that I shared with the guys was centered on facing fears associated with auto repair.  Seems odd to be afraid of auto repair, but I've spent 30 years bitchin' and moanin' about how my father wasn't there when I was a kid and how he failed to pass down stuff that Dads 'should' pass down.  Grade-A victim material.  And really, at the end of the day, a giant load of crap.  

That said, the desire to "get over it", the fact that my car is 13 years old, and the advent of YouTube, recently converged.  Their union has led me to replace a Water Pump, a Timing Belt, Brake Pads & Rotors, and (tonight) a broken rear window regulator/motor - all within about 5 months time.  I love it.  Every time something else gives way, the fear gets smaller and the excitement of getting my hands dirty gets bigger.  

So tonight I'm thankful: for His perfect timing, a rear window that works, and a story that's getting more interesting every day.  

I invite you to consider whether or not the story you're writing with your life lines up with your dreams.  And, if you've lost track of your dreams, or are stuck in a cycle of complaining about your past, take action and pursue a better story.  Its the perfect time to do it.