The Positive Side Effects of a Dead Battery

Earlier this week my phone battery died as I was sitting waiting for the bus home.  <gasp>

I didn't have my iPad and I intentionally left my laptop at the office.  
I started to twitch violently.  Well... not really...

...but it did became painfully obvious just how dependent I have become on my gadgets. It took me a few seconds to shake the mild sense of panic that hit me, but I was able to establish a totally old-school strategy: pen & paper. 

As part of my Storyline journey, one of my ambitions is to get more diligent with writing. Near-daily blogs are one of the methods that I've talked about doing as a way to learn and build some creative momentum.  

So I spent some time simply jotting notes about topics that could turn into potential blog posts. 

My kick butt People of the Second Chance Notebook

After a few false starts and self-conscious moments, a couple of concepts started to flow and I began to remember what it used to feel like prior to my smart phone addiction.  

I liked how it felt and I like the work I've done over the past couple of days since.  

The real me sleeps in my phone.  It becomes alive on paper when boxes are drawn, arrows connect ideas, and doodles fill in the gaps.  

I may just start letting that battery die more often.

So here's to your real self.  I hope you have had the chance to stumble across it over the past couple of days... I can hardly wait to hear about what it wants to do.  pba.

  

Top 10 Ways to Risk Your Life on a Suburban Bus

The Suburban Bus is its own universe.  

When you step foot inside the magic hydraulic door, you have entered into a land of unwritten, but very apparent, rules and expectations.  

If you find yourself in violation, you will know it.  Passive aggressive gasps and eye rolls will be launched in your direction and you'll see the faces of normally amiable soccer moms and cubicle-dwelling fathers take on menacing expressions.

I've been spending at least an hour a day in this other-worldly place for about the past 8 years and thought it was high-time I did a public service by peeling back the bus roof so you can peek in.  

Print out this guidance and have it with you the first time you find yourself in need of public transport.  

THE TOP 10 WAYS to RISK YOUR LIFE on a SUBURBAN BUS*

Spoken in the tone of everyone on the bus.  No one in particular.  
Once you're on the bus, you're part of the collective.  There is no individual voice.  

1. Pay Cash.  Only newbies pay cash (for a maximum of 3 business days).  All others have pre-paid cards that get scanned on the way in.  Want lazer beams to come through the back of your head?  Make a line of 10+ people wait in below-zero temps while you fumble around with your crumpled dollar bills.  Jerk. 

2. Talk.  We're ants on our way to the ant farm that is downtown Minneapolis.  Unless we've been working together, or riding the bus together for more than a year, let's keep the chit-chat to a minimum.  Thanks much. 

3. Sit on My Lap.  The bus designer made the seats narrow.  I know it sucks, but try to keep your cheeks in the designated area.  If you do accidentally sit on me (who hasn't, right?), please acknowledge the mistake and scootch back over.  Even if it means you've got a cheek hangin' off into the aisle.  Your Ben & Jerry's obsession ain't my problem.     

3a. Sit Next to Someone When There Are Completely Open Rows Available.  That's just creepy.  If there are 7 urinals on the wall and one guy is peein', you don't saddle up next to 'im, do you?  Same rules apply here - only double-up when you have to.  Perv. 

4. Bring Your Luggage.  We all know you work hard.  Try leaving at least a PORTION of your office at work tonight, OK?  Three-bag Wednesday isn't a tradition where the rest of us are from and we don't have enough room for all of your crap.  

5. Take That Call from Your College Buddy.  Save your energetic reunion for the park-n-ride parking lot, k?  If we don't want you to talk to us, we don't want you to talk to them either.  I'm playing Candy Crush over here and you're messing up my mojo. 

6. Speaking of Candy Crush.  Try turning your sound off, moron.  This ain't your living room and we're all sick of the sound effects.  

7. Try a Breathe Right Strip, Sleepy Head.  It was a long night, you're tired and maybe a little hung over.  We've all got our issues.  But seriously, if you can't stay awake for a 35-minute bus ride, try a cup o' joe on the way out the door tomorrow.  Or at least let us know we can smack you if you start snoring.   

8. Cough & Sniff.  Alot.  "Our favorite thing ever is sitting in a petri dish with you and your germs", said nobody.  Take a sick day or drive next time, k?  Feel better. 

9. Just TRY to Protect the Seat Next to You.  We all know it's comfier without someone sitting hip-to-hip.  Leaving your crap on the spot next to you so we can't sit down is not an appropriate solution.  It's legal to violate rule 3a if you're selfish enough to try to "protect" the space around you on a public bus.  Get over yourself. 

10. Get off the Bus in the Wrong Order.  It's simple.  Folks that had to stand all the way home get off first.  People in the front handicapped spots get off second.  The rest of the bus gets off, in order, row-by-row from front-to-back (think Wedding or Funeral).  If you sat your arse in the last row, that's your fault.  Be patient or risk having Gramma Betty slash your tires tomorrow morning. 

*Note: a City Bus has its own set of rules.  I don't pretend to understand them.  I'm a suburbanite through-and-through. 

Once you silently acknowledge the rules by following them for at least 6 months without a violation, you'll earn the right to talk about your kids' soccer games with folks that look familiar (but only right at the beginning and the end of the ride - see rule 2).  

Feel free to pass these tips along to your friends and family. (and enjoy your commute)

pba. 

Stop Trying to Quit Stuff

Don't know if you've heard, but rumor has it we're livin' in a "broken world". 

Normally when I hear that term, it's referring to something that sounds pretty messed up: physical violence, human trafficking, addiction, Obamacare, etc.  

Our brokenness shows itself in simple ways: we do stuff we don't want to do.  We aren't who we want to be.  So then we work at being who we're told we should be.  And most of us tend to force it.     

I, for one, am a recovering performance-based Christian: one of those guys that talked about faith, but really lived in the land of good-deed-tally-sheets, all while doing my best to hide my own brokenness.  Someone who was inherently judgy and absent of real love.  Someone that was just livin' scared.   

A hyprocrite that spewed religious talk on people while living in shame and fear all the while.  Setting out to "save" those around me in order to lift myself up, not to share a Savior with them (because I didn't really know Him well enough to share Him).  What a crappy story to spend our time writing.    

Note:  don't get me wrong, I sincerely believe we all need saving.  I'm just not the guy that can save myself (or you), so I'm going to stop pretending I know jack or that I've ever been better than anyone else.  Instead, I'm going to tell you I love you and see if you'd be willing to walk the path with me for awhile (for our mutual benefit).  

Hopefully we can both keep our eyes peeled for where we're being led.  (Two eyes are better than one... unless you're a cyclops... or something like that... feel free to Tweet that if you'd like.)

The guy that made me start thinking about loving everybody and taking it seriously, also talks about quitting stuff.  He believes we have the power to quit stuff at any time, so he randomly selected Thursday as a day to quit stuff.   He quits something he doesn't want to do anymore every Thursday.  I love the concept, but when I focus on quitting stuff, I tend to not quit stuff.  I tend to do more of it.  Someone in Romans talks about doing stuff they don't want to do.  I'm that guy.  

Well, lately I've had some stuff I don't want to be doing cease to be stuff that I'm doing - which has been really cool - but it hasn't been because I've willed my way toward quitting something.  

The success I've experienced has been based on pursuing new stories that include stuff that I want to do and be about, not the stuff that I don't want to do.  The shift in perspective doesn't feel major, but it has been transformational for me over the past year+.  

I spent years trying to quit stuff.  It just made me think about the stuff I wanted to quit... and feel weak and small for not being able to quit it.  It wasn't workin' for me <insert nod to Dr. Phil here>. 

If you're good at quitting stuff, pick something this Thursday and quit it.  If you're like me, don't try to quit anything, use Thursday to start something new - use it to take the first step in the direction you feel you're being led - take the step even if you're not sure.  If you focus on that next step, the other crap you've been shaming yourself about might just start to fade away.  I'll give you Wednesday to process.  

p.s.  The new you is gonna be friggin' awesome!