Spiritually speaking, Russia just felt flat-out dark to me; from the time that I stepped off the plane in Moscow to the time I stepped back onto a plane headed for London at the end of the trip. There were definitely lights in that darkness at Family Camp and at church in Tambov, but the country as a whole quite simply had a wholly different feel than home.
C.S. Lewis’ book Screwtape Letters chronicles writings from an experienced devil (Screwtape) to his young apprentice (Wormwood) as he provides advice for guiding his “patient” (a typical human like you or I) toward poor decisions and, ultimately, an appointment with hell. It’s a powerful text that flips spiritual discussion on its ear. Good stuff.
It was with this book in mind that I envision my local St Michael devil emailing his Russian equivalent to inform him of my insecurities, fears, and points of shame in advance of my trip – a handing off of the torch as I temporarily relocate between their respective territories:
“Dear Lenka,
Please make sure to leverage his self-inflicted thoughts of weakness upon arrival. No need to push the topic – let him do the work for us. He’ll naturally isolate himself from the other men which will make it that much easier to derail him and avoid the growth we’re at risk of him experiencing while he’s on your soil.
I have itemized a few shame points below – review them and use them as you see fit…
<details removed>
… remember that he responds best to subtle distractions. This trip undoubtedly has the potential to awaken him from the suburban spiritual slumber that I have worked so hard, and for so long, to achieve. (Note: the logistical difficulties we have placed in the team’s path may have been a bit much. I hoped they’d give up and we could avoid this transition work… I apologize if I have created any hurdles for you by waking them up in advance of the journey.)
That said, I’d suggest using his philanthropic pride to distract him from any potential change that’s meaningful to The Enemy. He doesn’t even recognize that the only place he gives from is his excess, and he happens to love a compliment more than most. Pat him on the back and get him focused on himself. Works every time.
Sincerely, Damian”
She must have either misread or disregarded the instruction, because Lenka came on strong with the darkest and most horrible dreams I've ever experienced. They centered on the itemized list of shame points and probably would've successfully side-tracked me if they hadn't been so over-the-top horrible. So much for subtle.
Ultimately, I shared the nature of my evening battles with my team and, with their help, I was able to identify the dreams as the lies that they were. The 3rd night they occurred I found myself declaring Victory over them and they receded for the remainder of the trip. If I hadn't experienced it first-hand, I'd be skeptical that it could occur the way it did.
Moral o’ the story = God doesn’t guarantee us comfort. But He guarantees us His love. He knew that I was asleep and He allowed the Enemy to do the work of waking me up while He remained steadfast and prepared to use the experience for His purposes. Acknowledging it as a legitimate battle, and witnessing the ways that God loved on me thru others while it was happening, provided heart-level learning that I pray I won’t soon forget.
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